A Brand New Me! 2.0

I wanna create a new ME, that I always wanted to be or the one I admire! I wanna be the kind of person with whom I would fall in love with.

 

Adieu 2018 & Welcome 2019!

Dear 2018,

Thank you so much, with all my heart & I wish that you have enjoyed my company too…!

Thank you for giving me my Thumbi; for bringing more joy & hope for future! 

Thank you for my vavu; for trusting me, for taking care of me, for letting me experiment with my passion! For everything!

Thank you for my loving family! 

I am so grateful for helping me to getting me OK thru 2018 & i am looking forward to 2019! 

For the coming year, the following are my resolutions…!

1. Self Care:- taking good care of self; that includes Physical, Mental, Financial & Spiritual well being.
2. Click daily & take photography/videography more seriously.
3. Learn something new EVERYDAY.
4. Read 15 – 30 mins a day.
5. Listen to MUSIC.
6. PRAY – Connect with the SUPREME Power
7. Make time for people who REALLY matter in my life!
8. Being nice to people who are nice to me.
9. Being able to say NO, where it is required.
10. Not letting oneself be taken for granted & Not taking anything for granted.
11. Lessen IDLE time & ensure not to waste TIME. Use the time at least to sleep so that the body gets rest.
12. Reach ideal weight by year end. Hence reduce 2-4 kg a month.
13. Reach ideal looks, knowledge, behavioural strengths, health, wealth & mental state.
14. Maintain a Journal & account all finances(with opening & closing balance)
15. Make money by investing in self, Passion & good business.

God Speed! Yours truly.

Give & Take Respect!! Respect someone for their gender or respect them for an individual?

Recently I have been having these debates with a few chauvinist acquaintance on their demand of being respected because they were MEN???! Hello?!!

I never could digest this thought of respecting someone because he was a man(rather male in gender)..!! Why is a dick more dignified than a Vagina?? If at all a gender deserves any respect, shouldn't it be for the vagina bearing one? Enlighten me please...!!

Its OK to Fail!!! But its not OK to not to try again!!

Note to self:
I have to stop seeing self as a failure in many aspects... Career, Relationships, Family, Financially etc
I really don't know when will this scorpio that slowly releases its venom into my brain blood leave its clutches & free me...

I really gotta let it go.. 'But how?' is the question... I think I will figure it out very soon... I some how feel that I have to do it very soon.. it means NOW!

Divorces & Revalations

Being a divorcee myself, I have been recently spotting this trend between the divorced ladies....

Until the last moment before they got married, they were the epitome of the cultural lamp bearers.. I mainly speak for Kerala culture here. Long curly 'natural' hair... natural(without make up) skin... Zero make up(as our progressive chauvinist men think that the more you wear make up, the more sluttier your reputation gets), and LIPSTICK is a NO-NO! salwar kameez and sarees that cover all your essential parts are a must... Just for some reason they are not forced to wear a burkha(thanks to their egos that don't let them mix culture & religion) and hence the hindu ladies are saved to an extend from Burkha.

Now you know why "LIPSTICK UNDER MY BURKHA" was a banned..!

So, these hindu (region bound women) when go through a divorce loses their fear & suddenly go thru a hair cut, a hair smoothening, starts wearing somewhat body hugging clothes and a very few trying out some vices.. why not a drink? a beer should be definitely ok... some chocolates won't add on to my calories...  the list goes on and on...

However these things got me thinking as to why do women feel all liberated, fear free and starts dressing up as per their way etc? What has a divorce got to do with self liberation? Why do they maintain a different(pleasing) personality before/throughout marriage & why a 360 degree change post the divorce?


What do I think? OK, lemme tell you... from my experience...

Till the time you are about to get married, you are trained/told to behave/live so that you can protect your family's reputation... so that people say only good about your family & upbringing. If you don't do certain things, then your mom will be blamed for not bringing up a girl child properly & if don't desist from doing certain things, then its your dad who will be blamed for not having certain rules &  restrictions..

Once married, you have your husband's and his family's reputation to take care off.. Ofcourse you can never lose your parents upbringing grades as well. So now its double the responsibility.

So you do not have any life of your own.. but a hell of other reputation & wimps and fancies to take care off...

So divorce gives you a bad reputation (in Kerala, mostly a woman is blamed for a divorce since she didn't "Adjust" with her husband(whatever he might have done) as you always have some lady in your family who have gone through the toughest of all times & she has overcome those hurdles and sacrificed everything for her marriage. Now thats what is expected out of a woman.. she is supposed to adjust to her husband's & his families wishes(however absurd that may be).

So now you have been courageous to take a black mark on your reputation report card, might as well do what you have been wanting do in your life without the fear of society, family, relatives & husband... How good does that sound...! it actually feels so good too.. cos, since you are already tagged a "bad girl" its relieving to know that they don't expect anything good about u.. so you can do those things that always wanted to do but never did because of some odd fears or restrictions.

Now that you are a free bird; you tend to experiment & try to feel good about yourself by doing thing that you wanted to do..!!

I think thats what divorce gives to our ladies.. it gives us freedom.. it gives us 2nd chance to live life the way we wanted to live...

#Divorce #Ladies #Liberation #Freedom #MixFeelings

Guilt... Lost feeling... Defeat....

These are some feelings that doesn't leave me at all.... i feel vacuum for anyone who have chosen to leave me... its a hollow feel... i cant explain...

I don't know whether i have hurt them more or is the vice versa true...? Wasn't it their expectation that caused this drift?? Or was it my lack of meeting their expectations....??? I wouldn't know...

2017 and my resolutions...

Welcome 2017 n I'm still in my confused state of what exactly am i supposed to do...

However I realise one thing that i have a hell lot to clear or improve on my personal behavioral front... basically i need an improved me.... my ideal Me...

Hoping that no one's reading, here i go with my resolutions.
1. Ideal weight of 70kg by 2017 dec
2. Getting my sugar levels and other health parameter under control.
3. Disciplined me.. i.e. early to bed n early to rise... healthy food on time... click time... read time.. family time... love time.. travel time... etc
4. Savings an inevitable habit.
5. More clicks... more me... more self respect
6. Cook more...
7. Learn NEW things...
8. New job with double the salary...

Hmmm.. i think that sums it up for now...

So how about a Charlie pic? A new member in our family...