Divorces & Revalations

Being a divorcee myself, I have been recently spotting this trend between the divorced ladies....

Until the last moment before they got married, they were the epitome of the cultural lamp bearers.. I mainly speak for Kerala culture here. Long curly 'natural' hair... natural(without make up) skin... Zero make up(as our progressive chauvinist men think that the more you wear make up, the more sluttier your reputation gets), and LIPSTICK is a NO-NO! salwar kameez and sarees that cover all your essential parts are a must... Just for some reason they are not forced to wear a burkha(thanks to their egos that don't let them mix culture & religion) and hence the hindu ladies are saved to an extend from Burkha.

Now you know why "LIPSTICK UNDER MY BURKHA" was a banned..!

So, these hindu (region bound women) when go through a divorce loses their fear & suddenly go thru a hair cut, a hair smoothening, starts wearing somewhat body hugging clothes and a very few trying out some vices.. why not a drink? a beer should be definitely ok... some chocolates won't add on to my calories...  the list goes on and on...

However these things got me thinking as to why do women feel all liberated, fear free and starts dressing up as per their way etc? What has a divorce got to do with self liberation? Why do they maintain a different(pleasing) personality before/throughout marriage & why a 360 degree change post the divorce?


What do I think? OK, lemme tell you... from my experience...

Till the time you are about to get married, you are trained/told to behave/live so that you can protect your family's reputation... so that people say only good about your family & upbringing. If you don't do certain things, then your mom will be blamed for not bringing up a girl child properly & if don't desist from doing certain things, then its your dad who will be blamed for not having certain rules &  restrictions..

Once married, you have your husband's and his family's reputation to take care off.. Ofcourse you can never lose your parents upbringing grades as well. So now its double the responsibility.

So you do not have any life of your own.. but a hell of other reputation & wimps and fancies to take care off...

So divorce gives you a bad reputation (in Kerala, mostly a woman is blamed for a divorce since she didn't "Adjust" with her husband(whatever he might have done) as you always have some lady in your family who have gone through the toughest of all times & she has overcome those hurdles and sacrificed everything for her marriage. Now thats what is expected out of a woman.. she is supposed to adjust to her husband's & his families wishes(however absurd that may be).

So now you have been courageous to take a black mark on your reputation report card, might as well do what you have been wanting do in your life without the fear of society, family, relatives & husband... How good does that sound...! it actually feels so good too.. cos, since you are already tagged a "bad girl" its relieving to know that they don't expect anything good about u.. so you can do those things that always wanted to do but never did because of some odd fears or restrictions.

Now that you are a free bird; you tend to experiment & try to feel good about yourself by doing thing that you wanted to do..!!

I think thats what divorce gives to our ladies.. it gives us freedom.. it gives us 2nd chance to live life the way we wanted to live...

#Divorce #Ladies #Liberation #Freedom #MixFeelings